The Out-of-Touch Adults Guide to Kid Culture: Did Logan Paul Pay $3.5 Million for Fake Pokémon Cards?
Aemilius Cupero News:
This week, YouTuber Logan Paul was scammed out of three and half million bucks, crypto-heads are planning to move away from us forever, and kids are eating NyQuil chicken—or none of that is happening at all, because everything is fake.
Logan Paul scammed out of $3.5 million
Famous YouTuber and highly-paid boxer Logan Paul has apparently been duped out of $3.5 million dollars. He paid the sum for a carton of first-generation Pokémon cards, but it turned out the sealed boxes were full of nearly worthless GI Joe card packs instead. Pokémon collectors had warned Paul that the box was likely fake (its history is super sketchy), but the unopened box was authenticated by the Baseball Card Exchange before Paul bought it.
In a video posted on his channel, Paul said, “I’m a super positive person bro, and I’ll always be the one to look at the bright side, and I’m trying, but this is very hard,” immediately after finding out the cards were bogus. Because this is the internet, there is a possibility that part or all of this story is also fake.
Cryptoland tries to lure residents
Would you live on tropical island populated solely by crypto-currency bros creating a blockchain-powered utopia? If you’re like me, you answered, “Possibly, if I’ve been convicted of an unspeakable crime and forced to choose between execution and exile,” but maybe we’re not visionary enough.
According to a presentation video posted by the people behind the (almost definitely a scam) project, Cryptoland is planned as “an international hub for the community to come work, live, and have fun, and enjoy a first-class crypto lifestyle…A paradise made by crypto enthusiasts for crypto enthusiasts.”
Supposedly, a guy named Kyle Chassé has already forked over $750,000 in fake-money to live on the island in Fiji. While this is almost certainly either a joke or a scam, I desperately want it to be true, just for the laughs.
Are kids really eating NyQuil chicken?
If you’re looking for something to eat for dinner tonight and feeling sick with SARs, do not consider cooking “NyQuil chicken.” The internet recipe, which calls for braising chicken breast in cold medicine NyQuil, is going viral this week.
It’s not new, and it seems like more of a try at grossing people out than something people are actually eating, but in just in case: According to medical professionals, boiling the water and alcohol out of NyQuil concentrates the drug, making it dangerous. You’ll breathe in the fumes, and if you don’t cook your chicken long enough, you’ll get food poisoning. So it’s a bad idea all around. NyQuil pasta is a bad idea. A NyQuil smoothie is bad idea too, but maybe less-bad than the chicken because you’re not actually boiling medicine.
This week in streaming: Cobra Kai season four and The Peacemaker
This week, Netflix dropped season four of action/comedy/karate series Cobra Kai, and HBO released the first few episodes of action/comedy/superhero series The Peacemaker.
While these show are very different in terms of audience and style—Cobra Kai is a goofy martial arts cheese-fest geared toward kids, where The Peacemaker is a dark superhero comedy that’s definitely for adults—the main characters are surprisingly similar. Both John Cena’s Peacemaker and William Zabka’s Johnny Lawrence are fish-out-of-water white dudes who love love 1980s metal, have inflated opinions of their own power and importance, and seem lost in a world where their once-ubiquitous brand of toxic man-child masculinity is barely tolerated. This is how kids see us.
Viral video of the week: Horse kicks tree, farts on dogs then runs away
I’m not sure why YouTube’s algorithm is serving everyone “Horse kicks tree, farts on dogs then runs away,” this week, but I’m glad it is. In the video, a horse kicks a tree, farts on dogs, then runs away. If that sounds like the kind of thing you’d enjoy (and I already know it is the kind of thing you’d enjoy) click the link at once.
Over 13 million people have viewed the video, and response is nearly universally positive. “This horse does indeed kick a tree, fart on dogs and then runs away… and it is absolutely majestic!” YouTube user Rainbow Unicorn comments, where Smart Smears says, “I feel like everyone wants to be this horse in times like these.” I so feel that, too.